Wednesday, April 4, 2018

There Are No Cameras Here

Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of Me Talking. I suppose I should start by explaining my absence for the past couple of months. As many of you know by now, I am attending university, and have found myself quite busy with work both inside and outside of my classes. I know this is no excuse, but I am simply explaining my lack of posting. The good news, for me at least, is that I am only a month away from the end of the semester. I mean that literally! May 4th is the last day of the semester, and I will have completed my freshman year. Even thinking about it makes me feel good you know? I know the majority of my problems won’t vanish as quickly as this second semester will, but I’d like to think the few things that distract me from my worries will be the only things I can occupy my time with. I was speaking to one of my peers the other night. We were relaxing after what felt like an eternity of a study break. As we were taking a break, silently taking the time to just be silent and not think about the mountains of material we just spent hours covering, my peer broke the silence between us.
“College is truly the best time, and the worst time.” They said.

“What do you mean?” I questioned.

“I mean, look at us. Here we are, two people who haven’t the slightest clue what’s going to happen tomorrow or the next day, or in the next 20 years, willfully paying thousands of dollars a year just to stress out, and tear our social lives and mental health apart.”

“Well you shouldn’t think that way. Think of it as preparation for the real world.”

My peer did not say anything.

“Like, I embrace the stress school gives me. I don’t like getting up early after staying up the majority of night, only to repeat the same process the next day, but I know that sometimes, that’s what life is about, I guess.”

Now both of us were silent. After about a minute or so, the conversation continued.

“When I’m at work, I think about doing my job for the rest of my life, and I just can’t see myself doing that. I think that’s why I work. It serves as a reminder for the alternative reality I can live if I fuck up in college. It’s almost like I’m in an alternate dimension all together.” I said.

“That’s what scares me a lot of the time. It’s like there is no way out of this. You either work like shit for the rest of your life, constantly worrying about bills because you chose to get a shitty job, or, you come here for four years, tear your hair out, become a communist, and still not have any type of security for the future.”

Upon saying this, my fellow peer took put their phone and began to tap around, checking their social media.

“They can’t take away the knowledge you acquired.” I said.

“I guess not, but it seems like this world cares more about the paper in your wallet, or the paper you acquired at the end of all this, rather than the ‘knowledge’ you speak of.”

“That’s true, but I think I’d rather be unsuccessful with a high level of intelligence rather than some bum with a diploma or a rich man with no education.” I said.

They put their phone away.

“I don’t know Rodolfo, from what I’ve seen, this world gets the best of us instead of us getting the best of the world.” They said.

I looked at my watch. It was a quarter past nine.

“I have to go.”

“Alright, sounds good.” They said.

“I’ll see you around.” I said.

“It’s a small school I’m sure you will.”

We said goodbye. I packed up my books. As I was walking to my car, I could not help but look up at the stars. Somewhere in the deep confines of space, there has to be some race of intelligent life. I wonder if they have the same problems out there, as we do in here. I drove home that night, ate a late supper, and studied some more.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

No One Cares

The Worst Guy
By: Rodolfo Perez

I don’t care.
As a matter of fact, I couldn’t stand to care more.
For what do I have to gain?
Other than plain, vain attempts to find an infinity
In a finite reality.
To find perfection in the imperfect.
To find peace in a war zone,
Destroyed by Love
And misunderstanding.
All this is done just to be understood.
For the fight for peace will continue,
Perfection will be found.
It has to be found
Above all the complex tactics,
And uncomfortable complications,
Infinity will be found.
I have everything to benefit from giving a shit.
I still care.


Wednesday, January 10, 2018

That 2017 Song Stuck in My Head

That one stuck song, one of abstract notes with melodic undertones. The whisper of certain gravity heard when the silence played within the echoes of its day. They arose. Every day with the sense of a lullaby, walking into a new world that felt secure and alive with rhythm. As days passed, the circles of notes slowed eased its mark under their eyes. The song replayed again and again, slowly turning into a tormented music box that would not fall quiet. 

Its humans strained, listening to the meaning of its whisper. The quickness of the day and the noise of the world made the effort almost impossible. The songs of others became louder and louder, until their own song got drowned within the boom. The notes became jumbled and the boom of the bass soon kept them up. The drum of their hearts became softer and the rhythm of the breath became weaker.

The songs stuck in their heads were silenced. The song of life became jumbled. There was too much too listen to and yet there was nothing at all. Confusion was the new director of its master work. Truth was its ailing assistance, slowly trying to build strength. Rearrangement of cognition and emotions were the innovators of change, slowly stepping into place. Slowly allowing new music to come along. The listeners learned, understanding the old song of confusion were truly tangled trails of clarity. With that once said, the song stuck in their heads began taking new rhythm.
The music continued.