IF YOU MISSED OUT, CLICK HERE FOR PART ONE
When I was younger, I was terrified of being home alone.
I mean, I would get scared of going upstairs by myself. It was my home, I went
up those stairs 25 times a day, but there was something about going up those
stairs when no one was around that made the experience nauseating. There was
never anything up the stairs to greet me. No terrifying beast, no mammoth accident
I was going to be blamed for, and no ambush waiting for me. Looking back, I think
that’s what can make being alone so gloomy to some. It’s the feeling that
something may be there for you, but at the front of your mind you know there
will be nothing there. You almost WANT someone or something to be there. When I’m
alone at home, or I’m the first one up, I find the silence sort of gentle. Do
you guys have that feeling when you’re alone? When you find yourself alone it’s
almost like the problems or worries you have are in your control. I don’t know
maybe it’s because I have a rather large family, and pure quiet is a rarity,
but when it’s quiet, it’s almost like letting go of that urge to make a sound
to be heard. The weird thing is that in a more public environment we find
silence to be such an awkward thing to have. For example, and I’m sure many of
you who are reading this have experienced this, I was in class one day. We were
assigned one of those web-quests I hate so much. That’s right, I said it. I
HATE WEB-QUESTS. Anyway, that’s another topic for another post, we were supposed
to work individually because the teacher felt the class was getting too off
track when we work together. So, there we were, and it wasn’t completely quiet.
There were a few people carrying on their own conversations. Then, it happened.
Out of nowhere, everyone in the room just stopped talking. There was not one
single voice nor sound in the whole room, for once, there was pure emptiness that
filled the room. Or at least it was like that until some VERY observant person
pointed out the event by stating “Wow, this is like, super awkward”. After
saying that, everyone, almost as if it was their obligation, started talking.
The teacher quickly shut us all up, but to this day I still ask the question.
Why does silence, the absence of sound, give people such an odd feeling? At
least in the public setting, I’ve noticed that people feel that they have to
spit out as many words as they can as frequently as they can to avoid the pause
many refer to as “the awkward moment”. I’m almost 90% sure that the people who
feel silence is awkward don’t make any noise when they are alone, so why just
because they are sitting next to someone or across from them, they feel they
have to say something? I’ve tried to sort of experiment in some conversations
whether it’s over the phone, on social media, and in person. I give some simple
answers to their question, and try to keep the conversation as normal as possible.
On the phone (most of the time) they usually start to rant or blabber on about
some random topic, or they will say something unnecessary like “yeah, well,
that’s life hehe” or “that’s the way the cookie crumbles”. On social media,
they will bring up some random event. I feel on social media, it’s ten to
twenty different topics all in one specific segment of time. You can almost see
the desperation in the way they bring up these random topics just so they can
keep what little of the conversation they have alive while I give my simple
answers, and my simple questions. In person, I think, was the funniest
experience of all. The other people would avoid eye contact, do random things
on their phone or in some cases actually start to do their work. To wrap this
up, I don’t see anything wrong with enjoying company without talking. I think
maybe you can understand more from a person when they don’t speak then when
they do. Isn’t that really the measure of who one is? Not what you do in a
public setting like school or the mall because nobody (except for a few) goes
out without putting on a mask, but when they are put in a situation where they
are alone or they think they are alone. You really know when you find someone
worth talking to when you’re able to enjoy the silence you have the ability to achieve.
Being alone is one of the best and worst experiences one can have. THANK YOU
FOR READING.
P.E.N.T.C.I
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