Wednesday, June 2, 2021

These Nights [Poem]

 

These Nights

By Rodolfo Perez

 

Late summer nights,

Gleaming evening lights.

From insects in sets,

To the flooding sects of people,

Walking through the streets.

To the young woman enjoying her porch,

To the lone street drummer,

Playing for his city.

What future lies ahead for the young and the old?

A future of bold ingenuity?

A future of ambiguity?

Where do we go from here?

Saturday, April 3, 2021

Y

 

Y (Or A Study Into Forecasting)

By: Rodolfo Perez

 

Intricacies of life,

State your existence!

The fallen love,

The fallen loved one,

Is this the purpose of life?

Will we find it on the shore of an untouched beach?

Or at the bottom of a glass?

Is it in our hearts?

Or in our lungs?

When I hear your sirens,

And see your tears,

What is a man to do in response?

Should he tighten his jaw and clench his fist,

Like so many men before him?

Or shall he lift his shoulders and fancy a drink,

Like so many men before him?

Saturday, February 6, 2021

Update #30

 

Hello,

I would like to apologize for being OTG for so long. At the time of this writing it has been roughly five months since I have given any real indication of my continued existence. I suppose even now it’s completely plausible that Rodolfo Perez may have died five months ago, and this is his deranged doppelganger hijacking his life. Regardless of this possibility, I wanted to take some time to give you all a bit of an update on how things are going for me recently and answer a few questions I have received over the past few weeks. I do plan on answering all the questions I’ve gotten, and I don’t want anyone to think I am ignoring them. Anyway, let me give you a little glimpse into what I’ve been going through the past five months.

            The first question that I’ve probably been asked the most is “Why the fuck aren’t you posting anymore?” The short answer is because there’s a lot of stuff going on right now. To elaborate, I would say, like many others, that 2020 is probably one of the only years in my life where I left the year in worse shape than I entered. The year has taken a toll on me and has influenced many changes in the way I perceive the world. That said, the rollercoaster that was 2020 has left me in a state of deep self-criticism. I haven’t stopped writing, but I’ve gotten it in my head that anything I write is not worth posting. Don’t worry, I took some time to get a grip of myself, am beginning to go to therapy again, and am getting myself back into the groove I had going for me.

            The second question is “Where the fack are you?”. Obviously the second question is going to tie into the first, but the short answer is out and about. 2020 was a busy year for me in regard to school and other organizations. At least the first half of 2021 is probably going to be filled with similar activity as I get ready to graduate with my bachelors degree and move onto grad school. The important thing is that I am here now. I’m sorry for not being here earlier, but I am going to do my best to be more consistent with all of you.

            The third and final question of the evening is “What the fook do you have planned?”. The short answer to this question is a LOT. Since I am moving out of this rut, I am excited to start reworking some of my writing to present to all of you in the coming weeks. Beyond that, I am looking for new ways to interact with all of you. I am currently working on bringing some of my ideas to video through YouTube or maybe TikTok if that’s something you all like. I also plan on starting a new discord server, since the one I was initially on kind of went into a death spiral heehee. The truth is, I have a lot of different paths I’m looking at right now to see what kind of step I want this blog to take going forward. Stay tuned!

            There are other miscellaneous things that I thought I would let you all in on, but I’ll just save those for another post. Nothing game breaking, just some changes to my email and stuff like that since I want things to be a little more professional. Anyway, if you read the whole thing congratulations! You get a secret tip on my next post, which will be a nice poem I wrote while listening to too much Mozart.

Stay safe, and I love you all.

Thank you,

Rodolfo Perez

Founder of Me Talking

Thursday, August 20, 2020

Top 5 Films To Watch During Quarantine (Ft. Kim Otzelberger)


Note from the editor:
As most of my most dedicated readers know, I have always found that there is something inherently revolutionary about cinema. Storytelling in this medium can shape our perspectives on life, and film has served as one of the only mediums that can encompass the full scope of human emotion, thought, and action. With each story being told, and each facet of a character being explained or purposely withheld, it is important to both enjoy film for the art it brings and analyze it critically to understand how said films can influence a reflection upon ourselves.
With that being said, I called upon someone who knows way more than I do about the technical and artistic aspects of film making to point out some of the best films to watch during the difficult times we find ourselves in today. Kim Otzelberger is an artist and film maker I’ve been following since we met at a writers conference last November. Kim’s production company, Bearheart Productions, is one that has produced pictures that are thought provoking and have a great emphasis on detail. I highly recommend you check her out on social media, as well as the website for Bearheart Productions (all linked below)!
Much love,
Rodolfo
Editor of Me Talking


Over the past six months, the world has completely changed. With this, daily life as we know it has slowed down, opening up the possibilities to live like a kid again. Like many other individuals, I was furloughed. With this, I had numerous hours to spend anyway I wanted to. Some days I sat and stared at the wall, others I played video games, some days I even exercised. But almost every day, I made the time to watch at least one new movie or a few episodes of a new series. I like to consider myself a movie buff, but there is always room to experience new films. 
Here are my top five quarantine must-see films for 2020!



A true-crime writer is struggling to come up with his newest book’s plot, but after moving into a house down the street from a murder, the story may be closer to home than he may think.

I am a Horror movie lover. I adore films such as Alien (1979), An American Werewolf in London (1981), Hereditary (2018), and Suspiria (2018) to name a few of my favorites. I would definitely add Sinister to that list. From beginning to end, the film will absolutely grip you as an audience member. And while I pride myself on not being too scared during a Horror film, this one actually left me sleeping with the lights on. You can find this film on Netflix currently, so I highly recommend you watch it before it goes away.
 














Tormented, beaten, and alone, a failed comedian regains his smile from horrific crimes. 

This film honestly surprised me. Now I knew the film had gotten appraisal from every human being on this Earth, but I never like to get my hopes up. You should get your hopes up with this film. I loved it. Gorgeous cinematography, incredible acting, Joker will leave you wanting to watch it again and again. This film is currently streaming on platforms with purchase such as Hulu Premium and Amazon Prime (Premium Membership).












Filmmaker Ava DuVernay explores the history of racial inequality in the United States, focusing on the fact that the nation's prisons are disproportionately filled with African-Americans.

This film is important. This film was important when it first came out, it was important two years after, and it is still important today. Do yourself a favor, sit down and actually listen to this film. Education is key for what’s going on in the world currently, and it starts with us to get it changed. 13th is available on Netflix currently, and is a part of their Black Lives Matter collection.

















This is the story of the movement to ratify the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA), and the unexpected backlash led by Phyllis Schlafly, aka "the sweetheart of the silent majority."

The cast alone makes this series amazing. You name it, Sarah Paulson, Cate Blanchett, Uzo Aduba, Elizabeth Banks, the list goes on and on. If you ever need a powerful female cast boost, put this show on. I get chills just thinking about “Mrs. America”. One can find this film on Hulu currently, but is definitely a one of a kind film.




France, 1770. A painter is commissioned to do the wedding portrait of a young woman who has just left the convent, but sparks start to fly the minute the paintbrush hits the paper.

You know when you watch a film, the ending credits start to role and you just sit there in silence? That is how incredibly crafted Portrait of a Lady on Fire is. Everything about this film is breath-taking. This film will easily be my favorite film of 2020 and will live on in my top 10 favorite movies for a very long time. This film is currently available on Hulu, and is by far one of the most beautiful films of 2019.


For more movie reviews, you can find me on all social media (Twitter, Facebook etc.) at @bearheartproductions or @bearheartstudio. I also have a tumblr blog dedicated to women of horror films, @bearhearthorror. Also, check out my website to see some of my past projects and current ones I'm working on: https://bearheartproductions.wixsite.com/kimotzelberger

Never stop exploring cinema. 

Friday, July 17, 2020

The Other America

Two Americas

By: Rodolfo Perez

 

Your America is cooking out with the music on,

Clear cerulean skies.

Children play in your cul du sac,

Men and women jog on the sidewalks,

Their hands raise and wave,

When they see the boys in blue drive past.

Your America is confidence,

In not only the boys sent to the amber sands,

Or the coal colored streets,

But in the men who send them.

Your America is justice,

In the judge, the jury, and executioner.

Dealing the punishments that fit the crime.

Your America is freedom, above everything else.

-

That is not my America.

My America is dark streets with broken night-lamps.

My America is cold,

Where flashing lights don’t bring relief but rather terror.

My America is lonely,

Where walking into a store gains stern stares from workers,

And makes men track you through the shop,

Like a wolf scouting its prey.

My America has no justice,

Murderers walk free,

And innocent men and women are put in chains to work.

Those who are killed are mocked.

Victims are turned into villains,

Oppressors turned heroes.

My America is perseverance to fight,

For justice,

For freedom,

For recognition,

For a voice.

Your America is perseverance to fight back.

To keep things the way they are.

-

Yet you still have the gall to tell me

We are one nation under god?

That we are indivisible?

With liberty and justice for all?


Monday, April 6, 2020

Update #29


Hello loves.
            I hope you all have been doing well and staying safe amidst these times. To say that the past couple of months have been crazy is a drastic understatement. Schools are closed, bars and restaurants once filled with peoples laughter and conversation now silent, and hospitals are filling to the brim with people seeking critical healthcare. One of the things I have been doing a lot of, as I’m sure many of you are also doing, is constantly checking the news, seeing the numbers, and starting to worry. Now, I’m no doctor or scientist, so I won’t give my dear readers any false information or random speculation, but a few words of advice in this trying time, I feel, are helpful. This is some groundbreaking stuff, are you ready for this? Okay here we go:

1.     Don’t go outside.

Seems pretty self-explanatory, I know, but the best way to flatten the curve of infection is just to stay in your house. I’m sure a lot of you who are reading this are already in your home but STAY IN YOUR GODDAMN HOUSE. Nothing is more important than your health, and more importantly, the risk you run of potentially infecting someone if you are asymptomatic. Read a book, do some yoga, smoke a blunt (assuming it’s legal). The quicker we realize we have to stay home, the quicker we can leave our house. Let that serve as a mantra for the next few weeks: Stay at home. Stay at home. STAY AT HOME. Otherwise, I’ll have no choice but to personally come to your home (Hazmat suit on of course) and beat the mantra into your thick, thick skull.

2.     Don’t make yourself paranoid.

When I was first beginning to learn about this virus, I developed an anxiety over how I may be at risk. I meet a lot of people on a daily basis, and in working in food service as well as student service, I have a lot of close contact with people. When I heard that the governor was shutting down schools and bars, I was immediately worried about how much contact I have had with people, particularly the elderly. It also didn’t help that in the days following the stay at home order, I had immersed myself in learning as much as I could about the origin, spread and lack of medical supplies that were available. My advice is to ease up on news consumption. Don’t get rid of it completely, you don’t want to be completely ignorant to what’s happening in the world, but make sure COVID-19 isn’t the only thing you’re talking about with people. If you are going to be online, try to learn something new. I’ve been looking into video production and psychoanalysis in the time I am not studying, and I can say now is the best time to try out something new, if anything it will take your mind off of things, and will help ease some of your newfound anxiety.

3.     Get organized.

As much as I mean get organized by tidying up your home, I also mean start building a stronger connection to your people. Undoubtably I can see that the biggest groups affected by this disease have to be the houseless and the poor, and not necessarily in regard to the chances of being infected. In the US, there is a drastic difference in preparedness when it comes to the poor vs the rich. A large majority of Americans have lost their job, but still have to worry about providing food, paying loans or student debt, and paying for medical supplies. That being said, banding together as a community to organize things like food drives or rent strikes is key in letting your voice be heard, and also empowering marginalized groups through unity. The best way to fight rhetoric is with action, and now, given the showing of the fragility of the system, is the best time to get everyone on the same page.

4.     Learning to change.

Arguably the most difficult thing to accept, learning and accepting that life will never be the same is essential in overcoming these tough times. Arguably, following the initial peak of the spread, I speculate that social gatherings will be limited regardless. It is going to take a while for things to settle back down, for the anxiety to settle, and for all of us to move on. However, that should not take away from the fact that we all will overcome this, and even if we lose people along the way, we will lose them fighting for the life we want to live.
We will get though this, and hopefully, we will come out of this better than we did coming in, and with our eyes wide open to the injustices we truly face as a people.

Anyway, those are just a few of the things I wanted to say to you, dear reader. I hope reading this was not too much of a waste of time. In terms of what’s been going on with this blog, I am working on making a video essay, as I want to spread our work across multiple platforms, not just the blogging scene, so look out for that. I know I have been absent for a while now, but I was just in a different place mentally, so I needed to take some time to get back on track. I got some work coming at you soon, so stay tuned and stay safe.

Love yall,
Rodolfo Perez

Friday, February 7, 2020

Update #28


What’s up everybody. I bet you weren’t expecting to read this. I bet you were expecting to read this on some special day. Maybe Valentines day or Easter, because I like posting on special days. It creates a quasi-schedule for me, and its something that’s worked in the past. But today, I just felt like writing. Over the past few months I’ve been writing and rewriting, trying to find the best piece to release to you guys, but in all honesty none of it is ready.
            In all honesty with you, faithful reader, I’ve been in a bit of an odd place recently. I go to school and talk to so many people every day. I have respect from so many people, and disrespect from all the right people. I’m seen as smart, funny, charming, confident, charismatic, and strong. I have a sense of leadership and am in leadership positions. I have a girlfriend whom I care about very much. I have a family at home who is there and provides. I educate myself on the truths of the world, and make sure to keep the lens to which I see the world clear and free from ignorance. I have a job that I can do well.
            I have been questioning myself often, however, in that despite all these things I am surrounded by in my life, all the people and experiences I get to take in on a daily basis, why do I feel like nothing? Not like nothing in the sense that I don’t exist, but nothing in the sense that even though I do exist, what I’m doing, and what I’m planning on doing is not, and does not matter. I see the world for what it is, but no amount of respect and leadership can change the fact that people don’t see it the way I do.
            This isn’t to be taken as an unawareness of the overall issue with my existence. I know the underlying issues lie within my disdain for the system we all willingly live in. A lot of what I feel can be traced back to the systematic oppression and unwelcoming environment I have been born into, and that persists to oppress me to this day. However, speaking in complete personal terms, I don’t know why I feel this way, and I know I should not feel this way, but I do, America. I wake up everyday in a bed that is too small but feels to big. I dress in clothing that is well fitting but feels too lose. I go to classes that I understand, but I don’t comprehend. I go home to a family who loves me and is there for me, but I feel foreign.
            I have these things weigh on my mind, and I want all of you to know this is not a cry for help. I don’t want your sympathy, nor your empathy really. I just want this all to mean something, like really mean something. I don’t want the feeling of “one step forward, two steps back” that I believe is present in a lot of the things I do. I just want things to progress for the first time in a long time.
-
Anyway, that’s kind of what I have in my head right now. I’m going to start going to therapy again soon, and I suppose this is about as honest as I’ve ever been on this blog, so if this was not what you were expecting to read, I’m sorry. Have no fear, however, I have some pieces I will make sure you all like.

Thanks for reading,
Rodolfo Perez