Wednesday, August 11, 2021

Casual Post 1 (Ft. Blog Updates)

Ugh. I never really know how to open these general posts for this blog. I used to try and be formal when I first started posting, but now it just feels weird to introduce myself in general. I hope everyone has been doing well. For those who have not been reading the past few updates, I finally graduated from college after four long years! Who knew that the best time of my life was going to be so damn stressful? Anyway, leaving college opened up a lot of time for me these past few months, and I found myself getting a lot of writing done as well as doing a lot of preparing for my gap year, which sounds way more relaxing than its turning out to be. I’ve enrolled in some classes at my local community college in order to get some extra courses that will benefit me when I get into a graduate school program. I think the most pressing issue at the moment for me is finding an internship where I can get some extra experience to really set myself apart. I feel like the volunteer work I’ve been doing is great for grad school applications, but its honestly impacting my mental health a little more than I would like (ironic considering I volunteer at a crisis line). Besides that, I really REALLY don’t want to go back to work at some restaurant or retail store again. It’s bad enough dealing with rude people most of the day, but working in a place like that during a pandemic for little pay? Not exactly something I’m dying to go back to. More updates on that later.

Going away from that area of my life, I want to talk a little bit about what I have planned for this blog. Reader, I’ve been doing this for a long time, and I am itching to bring some fresh perspectives on things. I’ve spent the last few months learning about different medias that I really want to try out with this website. Currently, I am working on my first serious collection of poems that I want to do a lot with. I don’t want to spoil any of the surprises, but I want this collection to be more than a set of expressions that can be read. I want this collection to be a narrative that is expressed and experienced through as many senses as possible. I’m really excited to be working on this project, but I would love some feedback from you, dear reader. Is there a particular idea or medium you enjoy the most? Let me know either in the comments, through email, Twitter (@OfficialRodolfo), whatever works.

I’d like to end by just thanking all of you once again for visiting this site and reading. A lot of the time, when I write these things, I feel like I’m whispering in the middle of a busy street, but then I see that there are some of you that are actually listening, which makes all of this just a little more rewarding and meaningful. So thank you.

If you aren’t subscribed, please do. It helps the blog maintain consistency.

Good talk,

Rodolfo

Friday, August 6, 2021

Where Is The Soul Cleaned?

Where Is The Soul Cleaned?

By: Rodolfo Perez


My time in the sunshine

Countless rays bathe me

Warming away the cold worry

Cleaning the soul

Darkening my skin

Making it smooth and glowing

No thing can end This


The crimson hue of my closed eyelids turn dark.

My skin, once cozy, turns icy.

I feel the wind, it forces itself on me.

The clean blue abyss above has turned white.

A cloud has obscured my beloved luxury.


Wednesday, August 4, 2021

Update #31

 


*Note* This post contains the use of a racial slur. I do not encourage its use, and I apologize if any reader finds themselves triggered by its presence in this post.

 

For those of you who are not aware, I have spent the last four years working to attain a bachelor’s degree, and I finally reached that goal at the beginning of May! I had no doubt I would graduate, but I wondered how my perspective on my own life and my reaction towards our society would shift. I was riding on a high after four long years, so I decided to treat myself. A few weeks after getting my degree, I decided to treat myself to a nice grilled cheese from a small place in Naperville. I don’t think I’ve ever went into detail about my obsession with grilled cheese, but goddamn are they good. It was a nice, breezy evening, and I was walking towards the Riverwalk, grilled cheese in hand. I was thinking about graduate school programs and reading about one on my phone as I was walking. The streets weren’t very busy, and everything was calm. I stopped at an intersection, put away my phone, and began to cross the street. There was one car waiting at the stop sign. It was a small red Mini-Cooper. I thought nothing of it as I walked, but as I neared he end of the street, the voice of a man belted from the small car.

 

Learn to walk faster you fucking spic!”

 

As I began to turn around, the car quickly sped off, leaving me in a state of anger and confusion. I have been called a lot of things throughout my life. Unfortunately, racism in the United States is profitable, and when white people make up the majority of the population, it is rarely ever addressed. However, this encounter hurt a little more than all the others. I was fuming, but I did not know what to do. I didn’t see the mans face, and I didn’t get the car’s plate number. I felt powerless. In past experiences I was able to yell something back at least, but this was different. I was left alone. After quickly realizing the reality of the situation, I began to walk back to my car, grilled cheese in hand. The sandwich was delicious, but I haven’t gone back since.

 

There are a few things I always assumed were going to be constant in my life. The first was the drive to learn new things, and the second was the level of dedication I hold to my community and to the future. If you are a longtime reader of this blog, you’ve seen how quickly perspectives and art can change over the years. I don’t think I’m the first self-proclaimed artist to say that. However, not all things change. The things fought against 100 years ago are still in our homes today. The more I talk to new people and get a taste of what their life is like, the more I see that their problems are the same problems that have penetrated the soul of the United States throughout its history. Brothers and sisters are still starving, the poor are suppressed, and white power surges in nearly every administrative branch of our society. We make our baby steps towards progress, and we make our baby steps away from it. Some things never change.

Wednesday, June 2, 2021

These Nights [Poem]

 

These Nights

By Rodolfo Perez

 

Late summer nights,

Gleaming evening lights.

From insects in sets,

To the flooding sects of people,

Walking through the streets.

To the young woman enjoying her porch,

To the lone street drummer,

Playing for his city.

What future lies ahead for the young and the old?

A future of bold ingenuity?

A future of ambiguity?

Where do we go from here?

Saturday, April 3, 2021

Y

 

Y (Or A Study Into Forecasting)

By: Rodolfo Perez

 

Intricacies of life,

State your existence!

The fallen love,

The fallen loved one,

Is this the purpose of life?

Will we find it on the shore of an untouched beach?

Or at the bottom of a glass?

Is it in our hearts?

Or in our lungs?

When I hear your sirens,

And see your tears,

What is a man to do in response?

Should he tighten his jaw and clench his fist,

Like so many men before him?

Or shall he lift his shoulders and fancy a drink,

Like so many men before him?

Saturday, February 6, 2021

Update #30

 

Hello,

I would like to apologize for being OTG for so long. At the time of this writing it has been roughly five months since I have given any real indication of my continued existence. I suppose even now it’s completely plausible that Rodolfo Perez may have died five months ago, and this is his deranged doppelganger hijacking his life. Regardless of this possibility, I wanted to take some time to give you all a bit of an update on how things are going for me recently and answer a few questions I have received over the past few weeks. I do plan on answering all the questions I’ve gotten, and I don’t want anyone to think I am ignoring them. Anyway, let me give you a little glimpse into what I’ve been going through the past five months.

            The first question that I’ve probably been asked the most is “Why the fuck aren’t you posting anymore?” The short answer is because there’s a lot of stuff going on right now. To elaborate, I would say, like many others, that 2020 is probably one of the only years in my life where I left the year in worse shape than I entered. The year has taken a toll on me and has influenced many changes in the way I perceive the world. That said, the rollercoaster that was 2020 has left me in a state of deep self-criticism. I haven’t stopped writing, but I’ve gotten it in my head that anything I write is not worth posting. Don’t worry, I took some time to get a grip of myself, am beginning to go to therapy again, and am getting myself back into the groove I had going for me.

            The second question is “Where the fack are you?”. Obviously the second question is going to tie into the first, but the short answer is out and about. 2020 was a busy year for me in regard to school and other organizations. At least the first half of 2021 is probably going to be filled with similar activity as I get ready to graduate with my bachelors degree and move onto grad school. The important thing is that I am here now. I’m sorry for not being here earlier, but I am going to do my best to be more consistent with all of you.

            The third and final question of the evening is “What the fook do you have planned?”. The short answer to this question is a LOT. Since I am moving out of this rut, I am excited to start reworking some of my writing to present to all of you in the coming weeks. Beyond that, I am looking for new ways to interact with all of you. I am currently working on bringing some of my ideas to video through YouTube or maybe TikTok if that’s something you all like. I also plan on starting a new discord server, since the one I was initially on kind of went into a death spiral heehee. The truth is, I have a lot of different paths I’m looking at right now to see what kind of step I want this blog to take going forward. Stay tuned!

            There are other miscellaneous things that I thought I would let you all in on, but I’ll just save those for another post. Nothing game breaking, just some changes to my email and stuff like that since I want things to be a little more professional. Anyway, if you read the whole thing congratulations! You get a secret tip on my next post, which will be a nice poem I wrote while listening to too much Mozart.

Stay safe, and I love you all.

Thank you,

Rodolfo Perez

Founder of Me Talking

Thursday, August 20, 2020

Top 5 Films To Watch During Quarantine (Ft. Kim Otzelberger)


Note from the editor:
As most of my most dedicated readers know, I have always found that there is something inherently revolutionary about cinema. Storytelling in this medium can shape our perspectives on life, and film has served as one of the only mediums that can encompass the full scope of human emotion, thought, and action. With each story being told, and each facet of a character being explained or purposely withheld, it is important to both enjoy film for the art it brings and analyze it critically to understand how said films can influence a reflection upon ourselves.
With that being said, I called upon someone who knows way more than I do about the technical and artistic aspects of film making to point out some of the best films to watch during the difficult times we find ourselves in today. Kim Otzelberger is an artist and film maker I’ve been following since we met at a writers conference last November. Kim’s production company, Bearheart Productions, is one that has produced pictures that are thought provoking and have a great emphasis on detail. I highly recommend you check her out on social media, as well as the website for Bearheart Productions (all linked below)!
Much love,
Rodolfo
Editor of Me Talking


Over the past six months, the world has completely changed. With this, daily life as we know it has slowed down, opening up the possibilities to live like a kid again. Like many other individuals, I was furloughed. With this, I had numerous hours to spend anyway I wanted to. Some days I sat and stared at the wall, others I played video games, some days I even exercised. But almost every day, I made the time to watch at least one new movie or a few episodes of a new series. I like to consider myself a movie buff, but there is always room to experience new films. 
Here are my top five quarantine must-see films for 2020!



A true-crime writer is struggling to come up with his newest book’s plot, but after moving into a house down the street from a murder, the story may be closer to home than he may think.

I am a Horror movie lover. I adore films such as Alien (1979), An American Werewolf in London (1981), Hereditary (2018), and Suspiria (2018) to name a few of my favorites. I would definitely add Sinister to that list. From beginning to end, the film will absolutely grip you as an audience member. And while I pride myself on not being too scared during a Horror film, this one actually left me sleeping with the lights on. You can find this film on Netflix currently, so I highly recommend you watch it before it goes away.
 














Tormented, beaten, and alone, a failed comedian regains his smile from horrific crimes. 

This film honestly surprised me. Now I knew the film had gotten appraisal from every human being on this Earth, but I never like to get my hopes up. You should get your hopes up with this film. I loved it. Gorgeous cinematography, incredible acting, Joker will leave you wanting to watch it again and again. This film is currently streaming on platforms with purchase such as Hulu Premium and Amazon Prime (Premium Membership).












Filmmaker Ava DuVernay explores the history of racial inequality in the United States, focusing on the fact that the nation's prisons are disproportionately filled with African-Americans.

This film is important. This film was important when it first came out, it was important two years after, and it is still important today. Do yourself a favor, sit down and actually listen to this film. Education is key for what’s going on in the world currently, and it starts with us to get it changed. 13th is available on Netflix currently, and is a part of their Black Lives Matter collection.

















This is the story of the movement to ratify the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA), and the unexpected backlash led by Phyllis Schlafly, aka "the sweetheart of the silent majority."

The cast alone makes this series amazing. You name it, Sarah Paulson, Cate Blanchett, Uzo Aduba, Elizabeth Banks, the list goes on and on. If you ever need a powerful female cast boost, put this show on. I get chills just thinking about “Mrs. America”. One can find this film on Hulu currently, but is definitely a one of a kind film.




France, 1770. A painter is commissioned to do the wedding portrait of a young woman who has just left the convent, but sparks start to fly the minute the paintbrush hits the paper.

You know when you watch a film, the ending credits start to role and you just sit there in silence? That is how incredibly crafted Portrait of a Lady on Fire is. Everything about this film is breath-taking. This film will easily be my favorite film of 2020 and will live on in my top 10 favorite movies for a very long time. This film is currently available on Hulu, and is by far one of the most beautiful films of 2019.


For more movie reviews, you can find me on all social media (Twitter, Facebook etc.) at @bearheartproductions or @bearheartstudio. I also have a tumblr blog dedicated to women of horror films, @bearhearthorror. Also, check out my website to see some of my past projects and current ones I'm working on: https://bearheartproductions.wixsite.com/kimotzelberger

Never stop exploring cinema.